


You are already a Dad

by NotfunnyDean (IronEyes)



Series: SPN Hiatus Creations [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castiel wants to be a father, Dean is afraid but has no reason to, Dean realizes that he already is a Dad, Father's Day, M/M, mentions of a child being killed during a hunt, not a coming together story but close call, so many feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-16
Updated: 2019-06-16
Packaged: 2020-05-12 21:33:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19237525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IronEyes/pseuds/NotfunnyDean
Summary: When a child gets killed during a hunt, Dean feels like the worst. He would never be a good father anyway, but Castiel is right at his side and there are a few other people who show him how wrong he is.





	You are already a Dad

**Author's Note:**

> Hii so this is for the [SPN Hiatus Creations ](https://spnhiatuscreations.tumblr.com/) project on Tumblr :)
> 
> Prompt for Week 3 is: Dad!Winchester.
> 
> I couldn't help but make it emotional again.

“How are you feeling?” Castiel asks, when he spots Dean sitting on a bench in a park. Dean looks exhausted, but there is something else. Castiel follows Dean’s gaze and sees that Dean is watching some kids on the playground.

“Like shit.” Dean answers and the honestly surprises Castiel for a moment. Normally the Winchesters are known for being _“fine”_. Castiel sits down next to Dean, not too close since he isn’t sure if he is allowed.

“There was nothing you could’ve done.” Castiel tries to assure him, but Dean just laughs. It sounds fake and bitter. Castiel decides that he hates the sound. He looks back to Sam, who is talking to one of the police officers, he doesn’t look good either, but Dean takes things like this even more to his heart than his brother.

Even if he always tries not to show it.

“There is always something we could’ve done.” Dean says and he looks down at his own hands. There isn’t any blood over them, Castiel had cleaned him with his grace after the hunt, but maybe Dean still feels it.

“It’s always sad when a human has to die.” Castiel says quietly, just to say something, but Dean just shakes his head. He looks back to the kids, who are playing tag, while they are laughing loudly.

“Worse when it’s a kid.” Dean answers and Castiel nods, he feels not good himself, but at least he took the soul personally to heaven. That doesn’t help the parents of course, who broke down when Dean had told them.

It’s always Dean who does things like this. Maybe to protect Sam, even though Sam is an adult himself and could handle it just as good as Dean. But Dean would never listen to them anyway.

“Do you… ever think about it?” Castiel asks then and Dean shakes his head, before Castiel has even finished his question. Castiel is a bit surprised by that answer, he had always thought that was Dean’s dream. Finding a wife and getting a few kids.

“Nah, stopped when Dad vanished, you know? Or maybe after Ben and Lisa. I’m not… good with kids anyway.” Dean says and then he gets up. Maybe to flee from this conversation. Castiel frowns at the words, if he knows something, then that Dean is fantastic with kids. He raised Sam himself.

“That is a lie.” Castiel says loudly and Dean stops. He was already on his way back to Baby, so they could finally drive home, but Castiel needs Dean to know this. Dean could… he would be a wonderful father.

“How would you know?” Dean asks and of course he reacts this defensive. Castiel gets up himself and walks over to him. He sees so much hurt in Dean’s eyes and he wishes he could take all the pain away. He wishes he could make Dean _happy._

“I saw you with kids. I know you would be a good father.” Castiel says and Dean’s eyes widen for a tiny second, before he looks away again. Dean Winchester, still not handling his own feelings very well. Castiel wishes he could change that too.

“Thanks but… I could never keep them safe. Wouldn’t want to raise some hunters. Don’t want to push them in this life.” Dean admits and that is a whole lot more true, than his statement before. Castiel nods and thinks about that for a moment.

“I would help you to keep them safe and I’m sure they would be great hunters, just like their dad.” Castiel says then and Dean presses his eyes close, before he shrugs. Castiel wants to read his thought, but he had promised Dean not to do that again.

“Maybe.” Dean offers and Castiel smiles, he just takes another step forward and realizes that he broke their other rule. Personal space. Dean doesn’t seem to be bothered, he just glances to Sam, who is still deeply in his conversation and then Dean actually takes Castiel’s hands in his.

“Would you want kids?” Dean asks back and Castiel raises his eyebrows. Dean’s hand is warm in his, but Castiel can also feel every scar on the rough skin. He carefully strokes his thumb over Dean’s hand. 

“Yeah.” Castiel says and he surprises himself with that answer. He is an angel, he shouldn’t want this… but then again the Winchesters were always good to show him that he was actually allowed to have a free mind. 

“Even… even when there is evil out there?” Dean asks and Castiel nods. He takes another step forward, to see what Dean would do, but Dean doesn’t take a step back. Instead he lets Castiel hug him. Dean inhales a bit shaky and then puts his head on Castiel’s shoulder.

“I would always try to protect them and yeah I would be scared about them, practically all the time but… it would be worth it.” Castiel whispers in Dean’s hair. Dean doesn’t answer, but Castiel is just happy to hold him. There was a time, where he didn’t really understand hugs, but now he is craving them sometimes.

“Maybe I want that too, being a dad.” Dean whispers, it sounds ashamed. Castiel knows that Dean is good at a lot of things, but being selfish, isn’t one of them. Castiel just strokes over Dean’s hair, pretending not to acknowledge the tears.

 

*

 

It takes them almost four hours back to the bunker and Dean is yawning for at least the last hour. Castiel is relieved, when they finally park the car and he seems not to be alone with that. Sam is out of the car in seconds and Dean stumbles after his brother.

Castiel follows the brothers and raises his eyebrows, when he sees that there is still light on in the bunker. Just as Dean opens the door, they can already hear happy chatter. Dean is awake again, reaching for his gun, but Castiel stops him.

“It’s okay.” Castiel just says and then he is the first to walk in the bunker. He smiles, when he sees Jody at the table. She seems fake annoyed with something and then Castiel can see that she bought Claire and Alex with her. Jack is sitting in the middle, pretty happy about something.

“Oh look the Dads are back!” Jody says happily and before someone can say anything else, Claire is already the first one to get up and walk over to Castiel. It changed a lot in the last years and Castiel is glad that Claire accepted him a while ago.

“Hello Claire.” Castiel says and then she is already hugging him. Castiel hugs her back as hard as he can, without hurting her and he sees how Jack hastily runs over to Sam, to find himself a hug as well.

Dean stands there a bit alone and Castiel sees the hurt in his eyes again. Before Castiel can nudge Claire over to him, Alex is getting up and walking over to him. Dean doesn’t seem sure what to do, but Alex just shrugs and then hugs him as well. 

Castiel tries to hide his smile at Dean’s face, but Sam is laughing loudly. Dean doesn’t even glare at his brother, he just seems to enjoy this for a moment. Claire lets go of Castiel and then walks over to Alex and Dean, to hug them as well.

Dean groans a bit as Jack gets over to them as well, to make it a real group hug. Castiel sees how Sam walks over to Jody, to welcome her, but he can’t look away from Dean and… yeah maybe their kids. Castiel likes that thought and he hopes he can forever remember this moment. 

Dean seems to tear up a bit, but he is laughing as well and Castiel’s heart aches for something he can’t really pin down.

“Okay okay. That’s enough, I’m not a teddy bear! What are you all doing here?” Dean says while Claire, Alex and Jack walk all back to the table. Castiel only sees now that there is pizza all over the table and Jody gets out some beer.

“It’s father’s day.” Jody says, as if that would explain everything and Dean laughs a bit and it sounds hoarse. Even Sam wipes over his face, before he sits down next to Jack, who happily gives him a beer. 

Dean settles down next to Alex, which leaves Castiel a chair between Claire and Dean. He would go over there in a second, but right now he… just enjoys this moment. 

Yeah maybe they somehow are already Fathers in a weird way, but Castiel wouldn’t change anything about it. He sees how Dean looks up to him and Castiel winks. Yeah he is pretty happy as it is, but maybe one day he and Dean would settle down for good. Adopt together, raise a kid from the beginning.

That wouldn’t make Castiel loves Claire, Jack or Alex any less. Now it would just add another love to his life and honestly Castiel can’t wait for it. For now he would wait until Dean is ready to admit, that he would like that as well. _Castiel_ and another child.

Alex shrieks, when Claire tells another story about her and a new boyfriend, while Jody talks about safe sex and Dean blushes badly, but tells Alex he would beat the guy up, if he hurt her.

Yeah… Castiel can wait.

**Author's Note:**

> That's it! :) Hope I didn't make you all cry... again.


End file.
